I wanna passion pit in your ass
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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