dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
