Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
