We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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