what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
