She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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