I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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