I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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