glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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