Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
