Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize