Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
