Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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