Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
two words...techno handjob
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize