we have pet lesbian snakes
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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