he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
