guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Life is so much better after having sex.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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