When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
