Sorry, I don't speak sober.
operation have a gay friend backfired
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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