I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
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I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
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There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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