I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize