i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
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She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
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I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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