her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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