you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
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He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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