Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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