Hey man sorry I got all grabby
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
