Swine flu. Run for my life!
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
