I puked a lego.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
