don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
