Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.

(973): View more from New Jersey

I'm moving there. Get me hired.

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(801): View more from Utah

I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day

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(917): View more from New York City

How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?

(1-917): View more from New York City

I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.

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(650): View more from California

Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy

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(925): View more from California

I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY

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(818): View more from California

you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?

(661): View more from California

i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.

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