When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize