My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
