i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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