I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
