from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
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At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
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I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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