all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize