and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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