i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
