Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
