Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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