I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
