I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
