I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
