I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
