Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
