It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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