listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
