I think scott just propositioned me for sex
no, he came in my armpit
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
