Your mouth is God's brothel.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
