D3 body, D1 cock
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
