We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
