I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize