Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
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