all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
