That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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