i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
