Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
